Are You a Dirtbag?

How you can tell you might be a dirtbag climber:

  1. Your retirement plan involves winning the lottery, discovering hidden treasure on a remote climbing trip, or finding sponsors who pay you in climbing gear.

  2. Your idea of a well-balanced diet includes 90% instant noodles and 10% energy bars, which you eat while admiring your climbing gear.

  3. Your rack is worth more than your car, and you proudly label your car a "climbing gear transport device."

  4. You consider your climbing partner your most reliable roommate because you've spent more nights in a tent with them than at home.

  5. You discovered that the coin-op shower can be controlled with a coin on a string.

  6. You've perfected the art of "stealth camping" and have a sixth sense for finding the best free campsites.

  7. You've embraced the "shower is optional" philosophy because, honestly, who needs one when you can have a "nature bath" by jumping in a lake or river?  This point is moot if point 5 is in play.

  8. Your idea of a perfect weekend involves waking up at the crack of dawn to climb all day, followed by sitting around a campfire with friends, singing campfire songs (or climbing stories) out of tune.

  9. You only climb Monday to Friday to use the weekends as ret days to avoid all the "weekend warriors".

  10. You proudly display your growing collection of climbing shoes and claim that the correct amount of shoes a climber requires is n+1.

  11. When you see a non-climber in a down jacket, you immediately assume they're lost and in need of directions to the nearest cafe.

  12. You live in a van or tent more over any given year than other sources of shelter.

  13. Your bank account balance is directly proportional to your next climbing trip's distance. If you're low on funds, you're staying local; if you're flush with cash, you're headed to your dream destination.

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